Janet McCurdy’s new memoir is a bombshell barrage, beginning with the title: I’m Glad My Mom Died. And people are taking notice, because the book peaked at #4 on Amazon’s best-seller chart (and #2 in Memoirs), before the physical copy sold out in its entirety on Amazon. Luckily, you can still pick up the former Nickelodeon star’s tell-all at Target.com, or buy the Kindle e-book on Amazon (Amazon is expected to re-stock the book online here).

I’m Glad My Mom Dead centers around the abuse McCurdy suffered from his mother, but it also explains the manipulative, inappropriate behavior of child stars at Nickelodeon. Although some have criticized McCurdy’s title, the overall response has been positive. “There should be no Janet McCurdy discourse – just endless support,” reads one tweet that has garnered 110,00 likes.

In the book, the iCarly star recounts anorexia-induced body shaming, manipulation through her mother’s religion (Mormonism), and false parenthood—all in her mother’s hands.

“I’m in the ICU with my dying mom,” writes the 30-year-old, “and what I’m sure will wake her up is the fact that in the days since mom was hospitalized, my Fear and sadness have turned into the perfect anorexia-inducing cocktail and, finally, I have achieved my current goal of mom for me, eighty-nine pounds.”

The memoir also goes into Nickelodeon’s Underbelly. McCurdy was one of the network’s stars in the late and early 2010s, playing Sam in iCarly and the show’s spin-off, Sam & Cat, alongside Ariana Grande.

At Nickelodeon, “The Creator” (who is presumably iCarly’s creator and producer, Dan Schneider) pressured McCurdy into wearing a bikini, drinking alcohol past the legal drinking age, and massaging her without consent. “I want to say something to tell him to stop, but I’m too afraid to offend him,” she writes. At one point, McCurdy dropped $300,000 in hush money from the network.

McCurdy also detailed frustrations with his co-star Ariana Grande on Sam & Cat, who was allowed to leave filming sessions for other opportunities, while McCurdy was not. “So I have to turn down the movies during Ariana’s whistle-toning at the Billboard Music Awards? Damn it. It,” writes McCurdy.

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